Love: Jewish Style
Nine well-known Atlanta couples share the secrets to a happy marriage after 30 to 70 years together.
After 37 years with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and now with the AJT, , Jaffe’s focus is lifestyle, art, dining, fashion, and community events with emphasis on Jewish movers and shakers.
For our Jewish Love and Singles issue, we asked nine very devoted and well-known Atlanta couples to share with us how they met and their secrets for a happy marriage after 30 to 70 years together. Compiling their responses was somewhere between a labor of love and a joyful experience.
Every couple readily agreed to be featured and reminisce about their very special courtship and wedding. With almost 500 collective years of marriage between them, these couples met without the benefit of JSwipe, JDate, Facebook, email, or photoshop (shedding off pounds). They met through friends or social gatherings.
The husbands, especially, took the opportunity to wax sentimentally about how they found, wooed, and won the prize – their brides – many of whom were teenagers when they met. At least half of those interviewed have been married 50 to 60 years.
Universally they spoke of compromise and respect – always with a sense of humor. Nonagenarian Arthur Harris sent his photo with the tagline “Sydell and Zombie” as he exited the chuppah (wedding canopy) with a somber look. Shirley Reisman recalled her wedding ending on a harried note as the missing photographer was found shicker (intoxicated), passed out in his car, courtesy of the wedding’s open bar. Perry Brickman remembers the day in 1950 the couple met when he was wearing a fake leopard vest at which Shirley poked fun.
The message herein is that these couples renew the belief that love “is as perennial as the grass” (Desiderata) if you nurture it a bit with sunlight and kindness.
69 Years
Sydell and Arthur Harris
Wedding: The Bronx, NY, 1949
How we met …
Sydell: I was a young girl of 15. Arthur was 16 when a mutual friend introduced us. He chased me down the street and washed my face in the snow. Later he convinced me to go for hot chocolate; and the rest is history.
Secret to happy marriage …
Sydell: Trust and kindness.
Arthur: Having a handsome husband (laughing).
67 Years
Shirley and Donald Reisman
Wedding: Dublin, GA, 1951
How we met …
Shirley: I was at UGA and Donald was at Emory. He came to Athens to look for girls.
Secret to happy marriage …
Shirley: Respect and being close friends.
Donald: Give and take.
64 Years
Sherry and Harry Maziar
Wedding: Atlanta (The Progressive Club), 1954
How we met …
Harry: We both grew up on Lanier Boulevard in Virginia Highland and attended Grady High School. Sherry gave me a 16th birthday party and I took Sherry to her confirmation dance. High school sweethearts that lasted.
Secret to happy marriage …
Harry: It’s not rocket science… it’s much more complicated than that! It’s about respecting, liking, loving and laughing every day.
Sherry: Compromise with a smile… kindness, appreciation and love.
63 Years
Shirley and Perry Brickman
Wedding: Atlanta (The Progressive Club), 1955
How we met …
Perry: In 1950, when Emory was not “coed,” I was at an AEPi fraternity tag football game when I spotted Shirley, the sweetheart of the high school boy’s youth group, who was known as the “belle of the ball,” and I was intimidated.
Face-to-face, I was speechless. She wasn’t. “Where did you get that vest?” she asked. Actually, it was a fake leopard vest my mother had selected for my college wardrobe. “My uncle got it on a recent safari to Africa,” I replied. Divine intervention had taken over: 63 years ago we exchanged vows.
Secret to happy marriage …
Shirley: The secret to a happy marriage is always putting the other one first.
56 Years
Esther and Michael Levine
Wedding: Columbus, GA, 1962
How we met …
Esther: We both attended a wedding in Worcester, Mass., where Mike had introduced the bride and groom to each other. I knew the groom and was attending Brandeis University. A cousin made sure we were sitting next to each other at dinner. Mike was captivated by my smile, charming Southern ways and my cleavage (laughing).
I was attracted to his good looks, intellect and enthusiasm for exploring and learning new things. We were married less than a year later.
Secret to happy marriage …
Mike: Choosing well! We have grown together as we discovered and developed new interests together as the decades have gone by.
Esther: The secret to a happy marriage is respect, friendship and compromise, with some sex mixed in.
53 Years
Barbara and Rabbi Alvin Sugarman
Wedding: Jackson, MS, 1965
How we met …
Barbara: On my first visit to Atlanta, we were fixed up on a blind date (12/27/64), by my cousin. After dinner and dancing, midnight coffee, we stayed up all night talking in Shirley’s living room. We both knew that night…and were married 4 ½ months later. Fifty-three years have passed. Still in love, having fun, and feeling very blessed.
Secret to happy marriage …
They both agree:
Laugh a lot, support and be there for each other.
The old adage: Celebrate what matters, forget what doesn’t.
46 Years
Drs. Marianne and Steve Garber
Wedding: Atlanta, 1972
How we met …
Marianne: I was dating someone else while attending Washington University in St Louis. A family friend said, “You have to meet this guy, Steve, who’s driving up from Tallahassee…”
Secret to happy marriage …
Marianne: being great friends, laughing a lot and knowing you can be with the person for the rest of your life. Then you have to make it happen.
Steve: Shared interests, doing activities, love laughing together through the ups and downs of life.
43 Years
Candy and Steve Berman
Wedding: Birmingham, AL, 1975
How we met …
Candy: “I was working at Neiman Marcus (costume jewelry) and another associate(scarves) gave Steve my name and number. Little did I know that he had a list of women to meet. Eventually I got to the top of the list!”
Secret to happy marriage …
Candy: Respecting your partner’s independence.
Steve: Always talking and communicating.
33 Years
Lisa and Sam Olens
Wedding: St. Louis, MO, 1985
How we met …
Sam: Upon Lisa’s graduation from Duke University, she moved in to the apartment above one of my friends at law school.
Secret to happy marriage …
Lisa: Don’t sweat the small stuff. It is better to be kind than right. Each partner must be supportive while maintaining their independence. Sharing common values.
Sam: Marrying a partner with amazing tolerance and patience. Appreciating that all that can be expected of us is to try our best.
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