Leonard’s Losers: JCC Modified Fastpitch Week 5
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Leonard’s Losers: JCC Modified Fastpitch Week 5

By Leonard Postosties

Well, hello again my dear, good friends, it’s your old friend and pal, Leonard Postosties, and his faithful buddy, Percy Peabody, itching to bring you the latest results of Sunday Morning, and now Thursday Evening Mayhem, Crying, and Lying, otherwise known as the MJCCA Modified-Fast Pitch Softball League.

Related: Leonard’s Losers: Week 1Leonard’s Losers: Week 2, Leonard’s Losers: Week 3, Leonard’s Losers: Week 4

After recovering from last week’s monsoon that sent everyone home early from Sunday morning’s get together, the Boys of Summer were back at it this past Thursday, which is startin to wear thin on my bank account, as I am having to fuel up the old F-150, twice a week now, in order to get down and see what’s happening.

Anyway, that being said, Thursday Night on the Tilly, saw Captain Mike Kornheiser’s Kernels (we dun dropped the name corncobs, it just didn’t sing) put up a valiant effort, before losing to Captain Jody Blanke and his Band of Brothers in a game that went back and forth more times than a tug of war match between Percy’s kinfolk and his in-laws! In a close match, The Band edged the Kernels by two runs.

Across the concrete in another close one, Rookie Captain Rob Scheinman and his Band of Merrymen, edged fellow Rookie Captain Adam Abramson and his Green Mountain Apples, by one run! Again, from what Percy tells me, it was a back and forth game that was closer than the score! Now, I ain’t no genius, but how in the sam hill can a game get any closer than one run? I think Percy’s been par-taking too much of his own “hootch”!

Anyway, let’s move on to the Sunday Morning Sunrise games that saw Captain Justin Katz and his Kosher Kittens, battle Captain Mike Kornheiser and his Kernels in a close game that ended up in a one-run victory for the Kernels, who fought back from a five-run deficit to edge the Kittens.

Meanwhile, Captain Gene Benator and his Capitol Hill Senators went looking for their first win, at the expense of Rookie Captain Rob Scheinman and his Band of Merry Men. It looked like this might be the week for the Senators to get off the “schneid”, after jumping out to a quick 2-0, lead, but then the Merry Men broke back quicker than a 6-0 tennis game to take the lead in a seesaw battle that saw the Senators regain the lead in the top of the last inning by one run.

However, the Merry Men fought back and with two out and down by one, Josh Boxer punched a “gapper” into right-center field that rolled to the fence, bringing home Lawrence Kass who was cohabiting 2nd base with some fire ants. Boxer, although not quite “as fast as Evan Eisenstadt”, the big fella motored around the bases as if he were John Belushi on a “Mission from G-d” to score standing up, and send the Senators back to the “Hill”, still searchin for their first win.

Round Two of the day saw Captain Ken Danis and his Dangerfield Dollies jump all over retiring Captain and pitcher Jody Blanke and his Band of Brothers 5-0 in the first two innings, led by Kevin Rabinowitz’ three-run dinger to left field. But you can never count out the Band, as they once again, rallied in another close game to edge the Dollies by one run, to remain spotless on the right side.

Field 5 saw Captain Jeff Mironov and his Motown Millies, go up against Captain Josh Wikoff and his Boys of Summer. In another close one, Wikoff’s Boys looked as solid as a packed can of albacore tuna, as they held off Mironov, who seemed to be struggling on the mound due to the heat, and was not himself, according to fans in the stands. Rookie pitcher Eli Gray continues to exhibit the “right stuff”!

Good Granny I Pray!! Percy just told me he heard “last call for alcohol”, so I best be getting to the bar before they close it down. Now don’t anyone be afrettin about “last call”. Percy’s my Designated Driver tonight. All I hafta to worry about him is he getting a bellyache and some bad gas from too many RC Colas and Moonpies.

So until next week, this is your old pal and friend, Leonard Postosties saying so long, and y’all be good and keep the Sunnyside Up!

Bye!

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