Confessions of an Obsessive List-Maker
BY RACHEL LAVICITOIRE / AJT //
I love to plan just about everything: my day, my week, my class schedule, my friend’s schedule. You name it, I plan it.
From the minute I woke up this morning, I knew exactly what my day would look like: 8:30 a.m., alarm; 8:40, roll out of bed and spend an hour getting dressed and cleaning my room; grocery store by 10 a.m.; library by 11:30; an hour of Hebrew, two hours of developmental psychology – well, you get the idea.
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I basically have my day planned out until I get back to my dorm room at 9 o’clock tonight.
My bag is always packed with snacks and I always carry a sweater or jacket in case I get cold. Why? Because there’s comfort in knowing what to expect and feeling properly prepared.
I understand that sometimes I can seem a little neurotic. For example, the other week I found a Buzzfeed article titled, “27 Signs You’re an Obsessive List Maker,” and laughed my way through it only because of how brilliantly true it is.
Here are my top 2 favorites on the list. No. 10: You add things to your lists that you’ve already done just so you can cross it off, and No. 19: Sometimes it feels like making lists is just another way to procrastinate.
To my fellow list-makers out there, you know what it’s like. Your friends joke about your weirdness, pop culture websites like Buzzfeed make fun of your habits, and you laugh along. But you know you’d be nowhere without your lists because you’re a little frightened by the thought of being spontaneous and disorganized.
Life is easier to handle if you’re the one in control. There’s always that question, though, in the back of my head: what could I be missing out on?
In this week’s Torah portion, Vayetze, Jacob leaves his home in Be’er Sheba to visit his uncle Laban in Charan. A series of things happens: First, Jacob reaches “the place” (Mount Moriah) and because the sun has set, he chooses to sleep there. It’s here where Jacob has the famous dream about angels going up and down a ladder. Jacob names the place Beth El, the house of G-d, then vows:
“If G-d will be with me and He will guard me on this way, upon which I am going, and He will give me bread to eat and a garment to wear, and if I return in peace to my father’s house, and the Lord will be my G-d; then this stone, which I have placed as monument, shall be a house of G-d, and everything that You give me, I will surely tithe to You” — Genesis 28: 20-22
After making his promise to G-d, Jacob continues towards Charan.
Again, he has an unexpected encounter. Jacob comes across a well in a field, and alongside it sits sheep and their shepherds. Jacob greets the strangers and asks if they know his uncle Laban.
The men say they do know of his uncle, and that Laban’s daughter, Rachel, would be coming soon with sheep. The parshah then continues:
“While [Jacob] was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherdess. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel … that Jacob drew near and rolled the rock off the mouth of the well, and he watered the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother. And Jacob kissed Rachel, and he raised his voice and wept” – Genesis 29: 9-11
Rachel then leads Jacob back to Laban. Though his journey is complete, and he has reached Charan, the surprises are not over.
Laban offers Jacob work, and Jacob accepts on the condition that when he finishes seven years of work, he can marry Rachel. Seven years later, the wedding is held, but Laban switches his two daughters, and Jacob unknowingly marries Leah.
Still in love with Rachel, Jacob then makes a second arrangement with Laban: he will work for yet another seven years and take Rachel as his second wife.
So, 14 years after leaving Be’er Sheba in search of Charan, Jacob has two wives, each with a maidservant. But Jacob loved Rachel more, “And the Lord saw that Leah was hated, so He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren (Genesis 29:31).
In the years to follow, many children were born. Leah gave birth to four sons; Bilah, Rachel’s maidservant, had two more; Zilpah, Leah’s maidservant, had yet another two boys.
Then, before Rachel had her first, Leah bore two more sons as well as a daughter. Finally, Rachel gave birth to a son and named him Joseph, saying, “May the Lord grant me yet another son!”
When all was said and done, Jacob’s kids were many: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naftali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Dinah, and Joseph.
These names may sound familiar; they should. Much later in the Torah – after the Hebrews escape from Egypt, receive the 10 commandments, and wander in the dessert for 40 years – the Israelites conquer the land of Canaan and the land is allotted to each of the 12 tribes: Reuben, Simeon, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, Benjamin, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Ephraim, and Manasseh.
Three names in this list have not been previously mentioned: Benjamin, Ephraim, and Manasseh. Benjamin will be born the son or Rachel in next week’s parshah, and Ephraim and Manasseh are sons of Joseph – the grandsons of Jacob.
If you haven’t guessed it by now, my intent here is to stress the outcome of the surprises in Jacob’s life. His plan was to go from Be’er Sheba to Charan to visit his uncle Laban. He couldn’t have planned to dream of angels in Mount Moriah, fall in love at first sight, or to be deceived by his uncle.
We can only plan so much.
Like Jacob, we can plan big journeys, have goals and make commitments. But also, like Jacob, we have to be able to embrace the surprises that come our way.
I can only hope that my day’s schedule unfolds as planned, but if I run into a friend who wants to catch up, or stumble upon an article that catches my eye, I have to learn to set the plan aside, and allow the surprises to run their course.
Rachel LaVictoire (rlavictoire@wustl.edu) is a graduate of the Davis Academy and Westminster High School, recipient of the prestigious Nemerov Writing and Thomas H. Elliott Merit scholarships at Washington University of St. Louis and an active member of Temple Emanu-El and the Marcus Jewish Community Center of Atlanta. She was recently named to the board of St. Louis Hillel.
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